PHILADELPHIA -- Standing in the Phillies' clubhouse for the first time in more than 11 weeks on Tuesday afternoon, José Alvarado addressed his teammates and coaches.
It was the first time he had spoken to many of his teammates since he was handed an 80-game suspension on May 18 following a positive test for a performance-enhancing substance.
“I thought it went great," manager Rob Thomson said. "He was very good. Short and sweet, and we’re moving on.”
Alvarado -- who posted an apology on Instagram earlier in the day and apologized repeatedly to fans, teammates, the city and his family during a lengthy media session -- is ready to do that, too.
“Rules are rules, I take full responsibility," Alvarado said via a team interpreter. "Unfortunately, this happened, but I’m ready to move past this and continue to go forward.”
Alvarado is not eligible to rejoin the Phillies until Aug. 19. He was in Philadelphia on Tuesday to check in with the club before going out on a rehab assignment, which he is eligible to begin now as he ramps up toward his return.
But it remains to be seen what exactly "moving on" will look like.
At the time of his suspension, Alvarado had unquestionably been the Phillies' best reliever. He had a 2.70 ERA over 20 appearances and a team-leading seven saves. Even now, those seven saves are just one behind current leader Jordan Romano, who has been relegated to a low-leverage role while struggling to a 6.75 ERA this season.
The Phillies have since added electric closer Jhoan Duran to assume ninth-inning duties.
And making the situation all the murkier is the fact that Alvarado's suspension makes him ineligible to pitch in the postseason -- something he called "painful" and "extremely disappointing."
"That’s something that I’m always going to carry in my heart,” Alvarado said.
So, how do the Phillies plan to use him over the final six weeks of the regular season?
"I don't know, really," Thomson said. "I would think we'll start him out in low-leverage situations just to get a look at him and ease him in, then go from there."
The Phillies will have some tough decisions on how to use Alvarado down the stretch.
Ideally, they would want to give all the high-leverage reps to the guys who they will be calling on in those spots in the postseason. At the same time, however, they need to get there first -- and set themselves up as best as possible to make a World Series run.
The Phillies entered Tuesday with a 1 1/2-game lead over the Mets in the NL East. They were four games back of the Brewers for the best record in the NL, but just a half-game behind the Dodgers in the race for the second bye.
“I worked hard because I wanted to show the fans that I’m ready to go," Alvarado said. "I want to contribute in whatever way and perform whenever I get the opportunity to pitch. The Philadelphia Phillies fans are going to see the José Alvarado they’ve always seen."
Therein lies another question: Will Alvarado be the same guy he was before the suspension?
Alvarado flashed increased velocity right out of the gate in Spring Training this year. His sinker averaged 99.3 mph in the regular season prior to his suspension -- up from 97.8 mph last season.
The team said that Alvarado's positive test stemmed from a weight-loss supplement, something he confirmed on Tuesday.
“I’ve always thrown hard. I don’t believe whatsoever that whatever I took helped out my performance," said Alvarado. "I’ve always been a hard thrower and a big guy. I took that to take some weight off and stuff like that, but at the end of the day, I don’t think it helped my performance in any way.”
Only time will tell.
The exact pitching timeline for Alvarado remains unclear, though he will likely begin a rehab assignment in the coming days. He threw a bullpen session on Tuesday at Citizens Bank Park.
“It went really well," Thomson said. "Velocity was good. Command was good. Cutter was really good. So he looks like he’s been throwing.”
Alvarado, who went home to Venezuela immediately after the suspension and remained there until a few days ago, said he played catch, threw bullpen sessions and faced hitters while he was away from the team.
“I’m very sorry for what happened, but I have never had any intent to take any substance to make me a better player or a better pitcher,” he said. “I’m willing to take the challenge and continue to be the person I always have been -- a humble guy who wants to show the world I can pitch at the big league level and contribute on a championship-caliber club."
Though Tuesday was the first time Alvarado has seen his teammates and coaches since mid-May, he's been following the team from afar.
Just how much did he watch over the past few months?
"A lot. A lot," Alvarado said in English after doing most of the interview in Spanish. "I watched my teammates every day."