Lynch's approach to fatherhood honors his mom

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KANSAS CITY -- The small moments are what comes to Daniel Lynch IV’s mind first when he thinks about his mom.

Watching American Idol, or catching a baseball game on TV. The many rides to sports practices all around town.

And then there was that trip to Mexico.

Lynch remembers being in his mid-teens when his mom planned a surfing trip with him, and then came a surprise when she let him drink a beer with her while they were there.

At the time, sure, Lynch thought it was great. Now, Lynch thinks he understands why.

“I think she was really just like, ‘I want to drink a beer with my son,’” Lynch said with a laugh. “I think there were just life experiences that she wanted to have. I think back on it like, ‘Why did she do that? That’s so funny,’ but I think she wanted that experience.”

Jolie Saunders Lynch died on Sept. 7, 2012, at 43 years old after a battle with melanoma. Lynch was a few months away from turning 16, the oldest of the three Lynch kids. Jolie had received her diagnosis six months prior.

“It’s amazing to me knowing the situation she was in now -- the diagnosis was not good,” Lynch said. “And she was so unselfish in that way, where she never seemed down. She never seemed like she was letting us know anything was really wrong. I thought everything was normal.”

“I think that’s one of the biggest things I’ve learned. There’s no purpose in being miserable in advance of something. She knew what the deal was, and it was a very difficult decision, just in talking with my dad, of, ‘Do we tell the kids?’ And I think she was adamant, ‘No. I want them to live.’ She wanted us to live our lives. I think that’s the most unselfish thing she could have done.”

Lynch has done a lot of grieving and reflecting in the 12 years his mom has been gone. He’s happy to talk about her because what she went through and what he went through has shaped who he is now.

It hasn’t been easy without her, and Lynch probably realizes that even more now at 28 years old than when he was younger, especially on the field. Now, he draws on the lessons he understands came from his mom.

“I think it’s true for a lot of moms, especially moms of athletes, like, they’re the ones who remind you, ‘You’re perfect no matter what,’” Lynch said. “I think for so long in my life, I lacked that feeling about myself because I lost it at a young age. I went to a very demanding university to play baseball, then to a very demanding, high-expectation job, and I think I forgot to remember that it was going to be all right. I feel like that’s what my mom did an amazing job of.

“It’s something I’ve had to come back to, like, ‘Hey, it’s OK to be yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Who you are is OK.’”

Sunday is Mother’s Day, and Lynch knows he’ll get a text from his dad, Dan, to Daniel and his brother, Will, and sister, Molly, telling them how proud Jolie would be of them now.

But this year’s Mother’s Day is a little more special. Daniel and his wife, Millie, welcomed their baby girl to the world this past January. Lainey Saunders Lynch has her paternal grandmother’s maiden name as her middle name.

Watching Millie become a mom has been “amazing,” Lynch said, and becoming a dad himself has changed his life, too. It might not be a coincidence that Lynch looks freer on the mound this year, with results following -- he’s taken on a new role and helping the Royals win in the bullpen with his 1.04 ERA across 15 appearances.

“The times when I’m really stressed out are the times when I come home that I feel the most thankful for Millie and Lainey,” Lynch said. “They’re just a really good reminder of everything I have that doesn’t have to do with here at the field, that’s just with me no matter what. And I’m so thankful for Millie. She is just so perfect with Lainey.”

Millie and Lainey have taken the baseball season by storm already, trying to be on as many trips as they can. Because that’s one thing Lynch learned from his mom -- and his dad, too.

“Your time is the most important thing you can give someone,” Lynch said.

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He thinks back to 2012. What he didn’t understand then, but fully does now, is how much his mom may have been hurting. He never knew it, though.

“When we were there, we were the most important thing to her,” Lynch said.

Now with a job that doesn’t give him a ton of free time at home during the season, Lynch is very intentional with his time with Lainey, and he thinks his mom is a big reason why.

What he remembers most about his mom is what he hopes he can instill in Lainey as she grows up.

“I care about her so much,” Lynch said, his voice catching. “I just want her to remember: You’re perfect the way you are. And I love you, just the way you are. I never want to shoot her dreams down because I don’t agree with them or anything. Neither of my parents did that ever. I just think my mom did such a good job of it. And it’s something I’ll always remember when I think of her.”